If Only

                                        If Only

                             By: Breanna Miller

It’s dark and cold and lonely

I can’t help to think ‘If Only’

I could have chosen the right way

‘No’ I could have chose to say

All my friends followed this path

They said to take the other way was daft

They told me it was neat and cool

But over it I would lose my soul

One beer won’t hurt one little bit

It’s okay for one cigarette to be lit

Try cocaine just this one time

I thought if I did I would shine

Crack is great, it’s the best thing

But I only brought my self shame

I put on a smile and laughed a lot

Really I though of all the trouble I’d got

On the outside I felt so alive

On the inside I knew I had died

I drank and partied every single day

I was really living I could never say

I began to miss my old peaceful life

A life that never had any of this strife

I realized it was to late to stop

All these habits I couldn’t drop

I never thought I would go this far

Never thought I would enter a bar

I was being drug down faster

Drugs and cocaine were my master

I couldn’t do it anymore, I wanted to be free

I was bound forever as far as I could see

This path isn’t all fun and games

It was a disgrace to even say my name

I had my joy and merriment

Now I don’t even have a cent

I couldn’t go back I was to far gone

A far as I could see I as done

Then this man reached way down

He picked me up before I drowned

He gave me some food and something to drink

He told me of death I was on the brink

I was dirty and my scars you could see

Then he asked me if I wanted to be free

I stared a moment the I said sir

I’m to far gone can’t you see my dirt

He gave a smile and quickly replied

Just for you on a cross I bled and died

I gaped in astonishment, the tears coming fast

I would be free from this burden at last

I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry

Who would care enough about me to die

He looked at me with compassion in his eyes

I knew he was waiting, I couldn’t reply

He asked me with love deep in his tone

Do you want to be free, for all this to be gone

I didn’t even have to think I quickly replied

Yes! Yes! I said with a quiet sigh

I couldn’t understand why he cared so much

For all MY friends left me alone and such

He held out his hand and beckoned me nearer

Even though my tears I could see clearer

This man really loved and cared about me

He died on the cross so I could be free

He quickly and quietly stripped me of my clothes

Then he gave me a brand new sparkling white robe

I looked up in amazement and surprise

Why would a man on a cross for me to

I fell on my knees and asked Him if this was for real

He took out a envelop and pulled out a seal

He stamped the seal on the envelop, a very bright red

Then he held it up and ripped it to shreds

I pondered what that was supposed to mean

I didn’t know what I had just seen

He then told me that that envelop was my sin

The he said he would never see it again

The tears of joy did flow down my face

I was free from those things by amazing grace

I asked him why he cared enough to free me

He handed me a book and told me I’d see

After I read for a while I started to sing

This man was Jesus the King of all kings

I realized he had a choice just like me

He made the right as far as I could see

He died on the cross and then rose from the dead

The path I didn’t take Jesus had led

I looked at him and cried Thank you Lord

When there was no way out you opened the door

I looked at him in wonder and awe

He had holes in his hands and feet I saw

I asked why he had holes in his hands and feet

He said, Child I did it all for thee

Amazed I asked him why he did this for a no one like me

Because, My  Child, I love you, you see

If he hadn’t came that day and saved me

I would be sinking deeper into that dark see

If only I’d listened and trusted myself

I could have saved myself from hell

I now realize what everyone means

When they always tell me those things

Sin will take you farther than you want to go

I had been there, I’d been low

Sin kept me longer than I wanted to say

And I paid more than I wanted to pay

p.s this is one of my poems:)